Turning Anxiety into an Opportunity

Today I found myself in a situation where I felt rather out of place.  I was supporting a friend by attending her event on campus, a bipartisan labor day barbecue.  Now, I'm not the most knowledgeable or comfortable when it comes to politics.  Some of this may spawn from my dislike for conflict, something usually present when you bring the republican and democratic students together.  

I recognized that I could easily feel embarrassed and even possibly depressed from this situation.  It seemed easy to think that I was unintelligent, that I shouldn't be there, or even that I should speak up for fear of being uneducated.

However, I realized that I could look at this situation in a different light.  This was a learning opportunity, a chance to better myself.  It's impossible to be the best at everything, and that's okay.  I could be better by opening myself to the opportunity to experience something new rather than just shying away.  Overall, it was somewhat of exhausting of an experience, but I felt better after.  

There's so much to learn in the world.  When I was younger I used to think that there are so many things that exist in this wide universe that everyone must be the best at something, even if that something was something small and would go unnoticed.  Later, I was able to see that everyone has a unique story and how beautiful that is.  By opening myself up to this new experience, I was able to see both of these things in full swing.  I heard stories from friends that were deep and meaningful, and I got to see how passionate some of these students are with politics.  It may not be my forte, but that's okay.  It shows that there's more in the world for me to discover.  It also reminds me that I have my own forte in other fields.  By experiencing new things, anxiety can be changed into an opportunity.

The Story

I started struggling with depression and anxiety when I was in the sixth grade.  It has caused a huge impact on my life.  From being suicidal to passing out from stress, my body has physically shown the battle.  I'm now entering my senior year in college, and I still struggle.  But I'm getting better, and that has allowed me to have so much hope.  It's necessary to celebrate the small victories in each day.  They may seem childish, silly, or even just dumb, but I promise you they aren't.  It's a struggle and just because it sounds simple doesn't mean it is to achieve.  My biggest goal in life is to be happy.  I still sometimes struggle with accepting this is my goal, because it almost seems too simple.  But with anxiety and depression, it is a lifetime achievement for me.  Plus, so much stems then from achieving that goal, like sharing love, showing compassion, and working hard.  I finally have this goal, and I finally believe it's achievable.  I still have struggles with depression and anxiety, but I can see that I'm so much healthier than what I once was.

I'm not writing this to sound like an expert on depression and anxiety, or to tell you what you should do to get better.  I chose to write this in the hopes that it would offer support to someone out there.  This blog will include kind words, compassion, and hopeful thoughts.  Whether you face depression, anxiety, bullying, or anything else that may make you feel less about yourself, know that there is hope and compassion waiting for you.  In reading this I hope you realize that there is someone, even a complete stranger, that wishes and hopes for the best for you.

The title of this blog is Deserve to See the Brighter Side, and this is reflected in the URL as well.  From years of walking with my head held low and looking at my feet, I finally found the courage to hold my head up.  It's another case of seeming simple but being a difficult task.  I ask that you physically hold your head up today, because you deserve to see the world around you.  You deserve to see the brighter side.